


never let go

by liare



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bexie if you squint, Emotional Talks, F/F, Fighting Parents, First Kisses, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Sleepovers, T.J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, Titanic - Freeform, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liare/pseuds/liare
Summary: Amber stays at Andi’s when she can’t stay home anymore. Nothing about this evening is new to them... until everything is.





	never let go

It’s not exactly easy to do homework when one’s parents are talking - yelling - to each other through a _hole in the wall._

“Can’t you just tell me? I don’t know what to wear.” 

Bowie turns down the music he’s playing and peeks through the curtain. “Told you already, I won’t tell you. Just wear something comfortable.”

“Well, there’s warm-comfortable and elegant-comfortable,” Bex groans, rolling her eyes when Bowie laughs. 

“It doesn’t matter. What you’re wearing right now is fine as well.”

“Finally. Thank you!”

Bowie disappears again. “I shall be at your door in - let’s see... two!”

Andi’s phone buzzes once. Then again and again, until it turns Bex’s attention away from the door. “Must be something important?”

“Maybe. Or, maybe, it’s dad.”

[5:26] Amber ❣️ : andi  
[5:26] Amber ❣️ : im sorry if im uh  
[5:27] Amber ❣️ : imposing myself on you i guess?  
[5:27] Amber ❣️ : can i come ober?  
[5:28] Amber ❣️ : over. im sorry i know its late  
[5:28] me : Amber, it’s really not. Of course you can  
[5:28] me : Is everything okay?  
[5:30] me : Amber?

“Andi, everything okay?” 

Oh. Everything’s showing on her face, and now Bowie - when did he even appear? - is looking at her with a worried expression, and he’s been grinning all day. 

“Yeah- yeah, it’s just... the assignment? Stressful.” And the smiles are back. Now sympathetic, too “Have fun, you two!” 

They wave at her before closing the door. “Oh, we will. Bye, Andi!”

“Bye!”

[5:31] Amber ❣️ : they’re fighting again  
[5:31] me : Oh.  
[5:31] me : 💔💔💔  
[5:32] me : You want to stay the night?  
[5:33] Amber ❣️ : actually...  
[5:33] Amber ❣️ : if it’s not too much trouble?  
[5:34] me : Of course it’s not. Text me when you’re on the way, okay?

_[5:36] read_

The assignment - Andi wasn’t exactly _lying_ about it - might have to wait. 

And, oh, there’s a mess. Left-over pizza on the table - some laundry (it’s not exactly the Macks’ speciality). Has she even dusted her room recently? Has she dusted it _at all?_

Andi figures there’s enough time for her to vacuum the living room; her bedroom, too, if she’s lucky. Amber lives on the other side of Shadyside, after all.

And, in her defence, the doorbell only startled her because it rang so soon. She’s about to shout a “coming” when she feels something really heavy on her foot. At least Amber doesn’t seem to have heard the ugly yelp, since she rings again. And once more. 

Andi doesn’t even think whether the vacuum is broken - or if she isn’t breaking it right now - as she throws it back into the closet. “Coming, I’m coming!”

If she stares for a minute too long, it’s solely because she’s never seen Amber look this distraught. “Hi, Andi.”

“Woah- hi.”

Andi ignores the pang in her chest when she sees some boy’s hoodie over Amber’s work uniform. She’s not wearing make-up, and her hair isn’t done up quite as nicely as it always is. It’s not curled, not even _brushed._ But Andi forgets about it all when Amber smiles shyly and says, “can we come in?”

“Yeah... yeah, of course.”

Amber goes first and sits on the couch (quite awkwardly, Andi can’t help thinking). After a minute of silence, she speaks up. “What’s up with that limp?”

Andi looks at her from the kitchen with a weak smile. “What limp?” She only gets a skeptical look in response. It reminds her of Buffy. (She also can’t help thinking about Buffy’s foot.) “It’s nothing, probably just, you know, set my foot funny. Do you want some tea?”

Amber smiles again - sweetly, kind of like she smiles at customers - before nodding. 

“Okay. Sugar?”

“Yeah?” (Andi holds back from screaming, not only because she poured some of the boiling water on her foot) “I mean, yeah, a half. And with a little milk?” Andi opens her mouth to say something, but only groans. “Andi, you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine!” 

Andi wants to give Amber a reassuring smile... but she’s not sitting on the couch anymore. “Here, let me help you,” Amber offers, standing next to her.

Silence settles between them again, as the tea’s brewing. It’s comfortable, them just looking at each other and listening to the rock music Bowie forgot to turn off. 

Amber opens the fridge as Andi throws the teabags in the bin. She turns back to the tea and gasps. “Milk, seriously?”

“Yeah.” 

Andi takes the carton out of Amber’s hands, spilling some milk onto the counter. “I thought you were joking. I’ve never seen anyone drink tea with milk.”

“Uh, the Brits?” She puts her teaspoon aside. “Me?”

Amber only gets a disbelieving look and a head shake in response. “You’re making this up. If it was true, Cyrus would have told me all about it.”

“I swear I’m not making it up. Just try it!” Amber chuckles - and as if to prove a point, she takes a big sip out of her cup. (Andi rolls her eyes as she closes the fridge.)

Andi pouts in mock disappointment. “Oh, what a shame, I’ve already put the milk in the fridge! Shall we get back to the living room?”

“Not until you’ve tried it.” And so, Andi takes Amber’s cup and drinks a little. Then some more. 

“It’s... uh, not the worst thing I’ve tried?”

(When Andi goes back to the living room, there’s milk in her tea. It’s a tiny triumph Amber doesn’t comment on). 

When the show they’ve been watching turns to ads, they can’t ignore the elephant in the room anymore. Andi turns the TV off; Bowie’s music must have stopped at some point, too, because now, it’s deafeningly silent. Andi puts her empty cup aside. Amber takes a sip. She’s clearly become nervous, playing with her rings, still staring at the TV screen. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She takes another sip of her tea before she answers. “No, not really.”

It’s silent again. Andi feels silly for never having realised the true privilege of having parents who love each other, who only ever fight over stealing the other’s shampoo. Who are _still together._

She knows better than to blame herself. Of course it’s not her fault. But she doesn’t know what to do. Maybe Cyrus or Buffy could give Amber better advice. _Any_ advice at all. But she came to her, to _Andi_ , and she can’t just stay quiet. 

“It’s not the first time. Not the last. They’re always fighting over the same thing, anyway. Might have stopped by now, I don’t know.” It’s not cold, but Amber sips up her hoodie - and Andi feels bad for hating it - hating the _guy_ she got it from - since it seems to give Amber so much comfort. “I don’t wanna go back.”

Andi takes Amber’s hand and, when their gazes meet, she gives it a squeeze. “You can stay here as long as you want, okay? I’ll sort things out with Bex and-“

“No. I mean, I have to- at some point. If it weren’t for TJ, I would have... I’d leave, I think,” Amber whispers, squeezing Andi’s hand back. “We have family in SLC. But Teej, he still has four years of school, and- It’s stupid, really.”

“It’s not, Ambs. It’s really not. But you have to think about yourself, too.”

Amber doesn’t say anything for a while. She releases her hand from Andi’s hold to wrap it around herself. “I mean, you know, so many people have it worse-“

“Amber. It doesn’t make it any more okay.”

When silence surrounds them again, Andi just gives Amber a blanket and takes their empty cups to the kitchen. “Do you want some water?”

“Yes. Please.”

(While Amber isn’t looking, she takes an ice bag) “On it.”

Andi gets a weird look when she brings the ice to the table. Then, a worried one, when she lays her leg on the table and puts the ice bag on her foot. Amber opens her mouth to say something, but Andi beats her to it. “And... what about TJ?”

“He usually goes to the park, when they... Well, he plays basketball, I think. I met him on the way here, actually. He was at, uh, on a swing. Gave me this hoodie, actually, said he was about to go home anyway.” Amber turns to Andi - who, for some reason, seems almost relieved - and then looks down again. “Uh, I’m going to call him, actually, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course- go ahead. I’m going to set everything up in my room, okay?”

Amber gets up and nods. “Okay.” She walks away, to the kitchen, but then turns abruptly, with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. “Andi?”

“Yeah?”

Even though they’re several feet away, Andi’s heart is trying to find its way out of her chest, beating like Cyrus once described it. _Ba-boom ba-boom_

“Thank you. For everything”

By the time Amber comes back, Andi’s made the bed and tidied up her room. She’s already in pyjamas, her laptop lying on the bed. “I suggest we watch some movie. You can go get changed and I’ll make popcorn. How’s that sound?”

“I’d love that.” Amber grins back at Andi, but then realises something. “Uh, that’s what I’m sleeping in.”

Andi eyes her work uniform absentmindedly. “No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is, I don’t have a-“ Andi turns her back to Amber and it feels rude, really, how she doesn’t even seem to be listening, looking for something in her drawer instead. 

“Here,” she says, handing a hoodie to Amber. “It should fit. Wait- you need some shorts. Or pants. Which one would you-“

“Either is good, Bambi.” Amber laughs, but she’s overcome with gratefulness and love. “You don’t have to...”

Andi gives her a pair of shorts and gets up. “Yes, I do. Is Titanic fine?”

“I must’ve watched it, like, five times already. So, yes!”

When Amber comes back - in a _Cyrus’ Bash-Mitzvah_ hoodie - she sees Andi, already lying on the bed and eating their popcorn. “Hey, don’t start without me!”

“I’m not! See, it’s on language choice,” Andi pouts, but seems to have understood, giving the popcorn to Amber when she lies down. 

“I’m talking about the popcorn, dummy.” After a few seconds, Andi snorts, putting her head on Amber’s shoulder. So Amber laughs too, even though she’s not sure why. They stop when they notice they’ve spilled popcorn all over their laps. 

And they laugh again. “Can we... okay, let’s- start,” Andi whispers through her laughter. “Okay. We have to think about something sad. Jack’s death!”

“Hey-“

“We’ve both watched it a couple times! That’s the whole point, his death, either way.” Amber hits play while Andi’s talking. 

They’re perhaps halfway through the beginning sequence when Andi sees Amber’s face fall. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no- I’m just thinking. Your parents are out?”

Andi stops the movie and turns to Amber. “Yeah. Why?” They fight a little, Amber pressing play (“It’s nothing important!”) - Andi pausing again (“It’s _very_ important!”) - Amber playing the movie again. 

“Back to your parents,” she says, after a while of silence. “Do they know I’m here?” Andi only shrugs and laughs weakly. “I’m assuming not.”

“They’ll be cool about it, I promise.” She smiles, confident and reassuring, and brushes her hand against Amber’s. “Can we-“

“Yeah.”

By the end, they’re both in tears. Amber’s head is on Andi’s shoulder, their hands lying on top of each other. “I never see the ending coming.”

“Yes, you do,” Andi sniffles, smiling weakly at Amber. Their fingers intertwine, and it feels so _natural_ that they barely notice. 

“Yes, I do.” Amber squeezes Andi’s hand, looking up into her eyes. “But I just can’t help it! It’s so you know... tragic! Romantic!”

Andi laughs through her tears. “Oh, believe me, it is romantic. Bowie keeps telling me that he pirated it before the premiere for Bex. And they watched it before _anyone else_.”

“Well, sounds very romantic to me,” Amber whispers, sitting up. “The indie 90s romance!”

“Yeah, doesn’t it,” Andi chuckles. She wipes the tear stains from her face with the sleeve of her hoodie, smiling to herself. “Except Bex was, like, nine, I think, when _Titanic_ came out!”

Amber bursts out laughing. “Oh, how sweet, middle school romance!” 

“You’re talking to a middle schooler, Kippen - but yeah, they apparently also went to a Spice Girls concert for their first date. As if. Bowie thinks he’s so funny. I dread the moment he starts making dad jokes-”

Andi turns to see Amber’s reaction, but she’s rolled over onto her stomach. She’s holding onto the bed’s edge, looking down on the floor. “I can’t feel my body.”

At first, she panics. She grabs a phone - she’s not too sure whose - about to ask Amber what’s wrong, if there’s anything she should do. Maybe call TJ. Or _an ambulance._

And then, Andi catches on. She jumps off the bed, sits on the floor, right in front of Amber, and grabs the bed frame. “Rose... Listen. Winning that ticket was... the best... thing that could happen to me?”

Amber looks at her, expectant. “It brought me to you,” she whispers. 

“Yeah! It brought me to you. And I’m thankful, Rose. I’m thankful. You must... do me this ho-honour...” Andi stammers when Amber grabs her hands and looks into her eyes. Her lips feel so close, yet so out of reach, and Andi feels like the butterflies roaming in her stomach have reached her throat. “The honour. Promise me... that you’ll survive. That you won’t give up... uh, no matter what happens, how... hopeless?” Andi’s eyes wander from Amber’s eyes onto her lips. “Promise me now, and never let go of that promise.”

Andi’s almost sure Amber’s looking down at her lips, too. “I promise.”

“Never let go,” she whispers, looking up, into Amber’s eyes, again. 

“I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.” 

Andi should pull back. Probably pretend she’s going down, and Amber should yell at her to _come back, Jack_!

But she can’t. Now, when they’re so close, their intertwined hands the only thing dividing them. Andi’s not sure if it’s the slow motion she keeps hearing about, or if it’s just _them_ moving so slowly, but she feels every chill going up and down her spine and every butterfly in her stomach; in her body, really, she’s shaking so much. 

When their noses bump, she feels a cold wave go through her body. Amber looks her in the eye just one more time, and Andi nods. Then, it’s all very hot, as if she’s about to burst.

And when they kiss, everything’s just _right._ It’s barely more than just a peck, but their teeth manage to clash as Amber falls on top of her. And even though it hurts, they laugh, squeezing each other’s hands. 

“Hi.”

Amber’s never looked so beautiful to Andi. And even if she’s been staring for a minute too long, Amber doesn’t say anything. 

“Hi.”

**Author's Note:**

> say hi to me on tumblr!!! (@/bambimack)
> 
> also, please let me know what you think in the comments! <3


End file.
